I don't know why. It just came in my thoughts. How could I possibly love two guys, of the same range of feeling, at the same time. I guess, I'm just driven by my emotions lately.
Yes, I still love my first, though we're aren't together in reality but the feeling is there. I just assume whenever he's with me that there something between us though it's not true. You may just find me crazy having that kind of thinking but that's me. i cannot do something about it. Lately, we rarely see each other. At least I am able to contact him in his phone, but I wanted more than that. I badly wanted to see him every minute of the day... I know that's a selfish thing to do thinking that we're JUST FRIENDS (Ouch)
About the New guy in my heart, He's not that new after all. I never thought I'll fall for him. Who knows I'll be? It just blooms recently during the days I long for a companion, someone to talk to, someone I can play poker with (just to add color, hehehe05). I find his presence helpfully during the times I'm so down in my life. He's there to cheer me up. He's there unknowingly lifting my spirit to still live a life worth living. I still cannot see myself living a life without him beside me. There might be no strings attached between us but I can also feel the same love as I have give to my first.
Does my heart fails me for it cannot control his love that's why I ended up having two special love ones? Will I be forever torn between the two of them? I didn't one to hurt myself if I let go of someone and just find myself regretting of my decision. Though for both of them I don't have a commitment, but still I cannot force my heart to stop loving to any of them.
I guess I have to manage what I have by now. Just let myself weigh things so that I could decide what to do. I just wanted an exhaust of what I feel so that I will not be fill up with such things in me. This helps me a lot doing these things. Thank you. I love both of you, you know that. Nevertheless, I'll never let go of you without a valid reason...
Yes, I still love my first, though we're aren't together in reality but the feeling is there. I just assume whenever he's with me that there something between us though it's not true. You may just find me crazy having that kind of thinking but that's me. i cannot do something about it. Lately, we rarely see each other. At least I am able to contact him in his phone, but I wanted more than that. I badly wanted to see him every minute of the day... I know that's a selfish thing to do thinking that we're JUST FRIENDS (Ouch)
About the New guy in my heart, He's not that new after all. I never thought I'll fall for him. Who knows I'll be? It just blooms recently during the days I long for a companion, someone to talk to, someone I can play poker with (just to add color, hehehe05). I find his presence helpfully during the times I'm so down in my life. He's there to cheer me up. He's there unknowingly lifting my spirit to still live a life worth living. I still cannot see myself living a life without him beside me. There might be no strings attached between us but I can also feel the same love as I have give to my first.
Does my heart fails me for it cannot control his love that's why I ended up having two special love ones? Will I be forever torn between the two of them? I didn't one to hurt myself if I let go of someone and just find myself regretting of my decision. Though for both of them I don't have a commitment, but still I cannot force my heart to stop loving to any of them.
I guess I have to manage what I have by now. Just let myself weigh things so that I could decide what to do. I just wanted an exhaust of what I feel so that I will not be fill up with such things in me. This helps me a lot doing these things. Thank you. I love both of you, you know that. Nevertheless, I'll never let go of you without a valid reason...
♥-♥It's so hard to weigh things♥-♥
